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How To Be An African Child Part 2

How To Be An African Child Part 2


It’s quarter to weekend, and time for our lecture on how to be an African child. If you missed the previous part, you’re welcome to read it here: How To Be An African Child Part 1

Moving on, your mouth should know it’s boundaries. Like I will reiterate, being an African Child can be confusing at most. Well, just know this. Never ever talk back to your parents when they are talking. Especially your mother.

In fact, if she is angry stand a couple of feet away. I can say for a fact that she will ask you why you are not saying anything. The most popular gesture is, “so I am insane now, talking to myself?”

No matter how valid your response is, keep it to yourself. If ever you feel the need to explain yourself, make sure you are standing close to the door. It should be open too.

I remember my cousin was missed with a Kango Pot when he tried to explain why he couldn’t wash dishes.
In short, it’s a greater sin to talk back. Better let her run her mouth until she is tired.

As kids we have always craved attention. An African child somehow doesn’t demand attention, it’s not yours. Your mother can’t be impressing you, your father, his family and the rest of the world.

If you see your mother standing on the fence talking to the neighbor don’t disturb her. If you want anything ask for it from a distance because if you come closer you’re asking for too much attention. Especially those mothers who wear pink morning gowns, they value their gossip.

Make the mistake of standing next to her, the slap you will receive will remind you that Jesus is your only true comfort.
I hope you got my point. I said ask for it from a distance, I did not say shout out to her. At one point I shouted, “mommy can I have the biscuits in the kitchen?”

I even regret seeing the biscuits in the first place. She called me later in the day and asked, “so who did you want to know there are biscuits in the house?”

How could you have answered the question yourself? I just cried in advance knowing the belt was waiting for my butt.
If you need something that is inside the house, you should learn sign language. Only use gestures to ask for stuff in the house.

That reminds me, when your uncle visits and leaves you some money make sure your parents are not aware. Otherwise it’s not yours. That money will cover your rent and groceries for the month.
One last thing on that note, never you dare cry to go along with the visitors. Wait until they ask you to visit for the holidays or sleepover. I won’t say much, just keep that in mind.


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